Mental Masturbation

Hi there,

This is Ahad, walking back from my first meeting with the friend I told you about. He just came back last week, and we’ve been meeting a lot since he’s only here for a few days. It’s been a lot of fun. I haven’t had these late nights out in a long time since having a child, because your priorities change, of course. But when a friend of so many years visits for a few days, I thought it was a good time to take a break from fatherhood and have some friend time. And it was a lot of fun. I really, really enjoyed it. Now I’m walking back to my family, who I’ve missed because I haven’t seen them all day, and I cannot wait to see them. But first, let’s have our weekly inventory check.

Weekly Inventory Check

May is ending, and you know what we do here at Vasl every single time: we take an inventory, check what worked for the month of May, review our goals, and understand where things might be going wrong. Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize. I don’t say this every time just to make you feel like it’s something you can ignore. The best way to build accountability is to start writing things down. This has changed my life since I started writing down my daily plan and my biggest action item for the day. When you cross that item off your list, you get a big dopamine hit that makes you feel accomplished. It helps you tackle other things as well.

Now, onto today’s topic: mental masturbation.

Mental Masturbation

Mental masturbation means talking about things you want to do and getting a dopamine hit without doing anything. It’s a lot of talking and no action, and you can imagine why this is a problem. I think this problem stems from how our society is structured. If you’ve been following me for a long time, you know I don’t look at issues individually but holistically. So, when I see mental masturbation, I see it as a product of our system, much like addiction or laziness.

We’ve created a system where we crave dopamine constantly. With social media, it’s easy to get a dopamine hit from a new tweet, notification, or message. This makes us dopamine addicts, craving our hits at any cost. The point isn’t that talking about your goals is bad. In fact, it’s great for building accountability. We have a WhatsApp group where we share our monthly goals and give weekly updates, which helps us stay on track. The difference between that and mental masturbation is having people around you who will hold you accountable.

Our system often rewards big talk without follow-through. To counter this, surround yourself with people who will hold you accountable. Next time you have big plans, tell someone you trust who will check in on your progress. This feedback loop will help you realize when you’re just talking without action.

Most people aren’t aware of these actions because, like addicts, they just want dopamine to hit. Building accountability makes you aware of your behavior. Find one person in your network who wants the best for you and ask them to hold you accountable. The first few conversations will be difficult, but over time, you’ll start understanding the importance of not letting them down. This externalizes the problem and helps you stick to your goals.

Want More?

For further reading on the topic of luck and opportunity, check out these articles:

·  Learn how to avoid the pitfalls of mental masturbation and turn your talk into action.

·  Understand the concept of mental masturbation and how it impacts your productivity and mindset.

·  Discover ways to stop mental masturbation and start taking real action towards your goals.

Reel of the Week

Check this out!

Transform your aspirations into achievements by putting pen to paper. Writing down your goals is more than a mere act; it’s the blueprint for success. The magic lies in the details. As your plans materialize on the page, they become a roadmap guiding you through a well-organized journey. Avoid the pitfalls of forgetfulness and pave the way for a seamless execution. From dream to reality, let the power of the written word turn your goals into an unstoppable force.

Instagram post by @thisisahadbudhani

The Weekly Vasl Podcast

Our episode on Tone talks louder than words is out now. You can watch it below. This week, we delved into the transformative power of voice tone in communication. Join us and discover how the right tone can enhance clarity, convey empathy, and create a positive atmosphere around the table. Learn why voice tone is crucial for effective communication and how it can make your message more impactful. Understand the disconnect between your inner thoughts and vocal expression, and get actionable tips on cultivating a calm, composed tone. Elevate your conversational skills and make your voice heard authentically.

Thoughts to Leave You With

It’s completely fine to indulge in mental masturbation occasionally. The key is to structure it in a way that builds accountability and helps you reach your goals, rather than just serving as your next dopamine hit. By involving others and creating a feedback loop, you can turn big talk into real action.